This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
