I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
