3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize