Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
