but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
