I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
