Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
