i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
