Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
