Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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