I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
