the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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