We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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