my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
