shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
