Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
so let's talk penis.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
