So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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