holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
