By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I need help removing her.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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