Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
