so that wasnt chicken after all
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
