We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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