dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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