are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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