you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Still dying that you shit outside
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
