I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
