Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
