So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
