And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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