i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
