I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
So vagazzling was a success
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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