Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
