hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
