ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm just crazy horny about you
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
