How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
