Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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