It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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