I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
