yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
