I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
it's great music for shaving your balls
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
