I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
