Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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