So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
