he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
