i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
