HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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