Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
