I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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