Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
