Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
