There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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