real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
