He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
